Before talking about how to text a girl you just met, if you haven’t already done so, check out the post on getting a solid number.
Because as a pre-requisite at this stage, it is assumed that you got your number in her phone. This is very important and makes everything easier. i.e. you have texted her your name. So when your text it’s going to come up with your name rather than a random person.
The first impression you make is very important. You want to hit the tone just right, coming across friendly, but sexy, interested but not needy, direct but not dismissive.
Before talking about what to send, the first issue to address is timing. How long should you take to send the first text?
Guys are like “I’ll wait 4-5 days so I don’t seem needy”. However, this is wrong thinking. The first text should be sent relatively soon when you are fresh in her mind, and had positive interactions with her. If you wait few days, a lot would have happened. So strike whilst the iron is hot. So if you took her number during the day, then send it a few hours later.
If you met during the day, send a message 2-3 hours later. If you met at night, then the next day in the afternoon is fine.
Note if you didn’t manage to get your number in her phone, this is the kind of first message I would send:
“Random meeting you like that.. are you always this friendly to people you have just met?”
You are texting something about the randomness of it all. Women don’t have a romantic dream of you approaching lots of women and she was one of them. So you make a comment about the serendipitous nature of how you met.
How to know what text to send?
How to Text a Girl You Just Met – The first text..
Firstly, as yourself, how good was the first initial interaction?
The first criteria is how good was the interaction? How much social capital did you create in the first interaction.
If it was really amazing, you spent lot’s of time together, arranged to definitely meet up, then you might be able to go straight to making plans. You can be as forward as “hey, what are you up to tonight”.
You can get away with this if the interaction was really good already. Generally, however, this would not be a good first text for the majority of guys.
If, on the other hand, you talked for 5 minutes, couldn’t really get to know her, you were both in a hurry. In this case “hey, what you up to tonight” won’t work and you probably won’t receive anything back. You tried to spend more social capital than you really had. In this case send fun, friendly, funny texts. The idea is that you are building social capital rather than capitalizing on it. You are not trying to get her out on a date just yet. Just trying to initially establish rapport and establish the interaction.
So those two scenarios are polar opposites. In one you can go straight for the plan. In the other, you are not thinking about plans.
Your first mission is to get a response.
Do not ask for the date straight away. You want to write a decent length text, as very short texts make it hard for her to respond. Also, don’t be vague:
What have you been up to?”
Better to make a specific assumption about what she is doing and how she is feeling. And don’t make it all about one specific question, otherwise if she doesn’t respond to it, it will come across like she ignored you.
Remember the interaction you had
The next critical factor when sending the first message is to remember the girl and remember the interaction you had. Generic texts will work and get a good response sometimes (especially if she likes you), but the more you can make it personal, unique to the interaction, the better it’s going to be. If there is something relatable between you and the girl, definitely try to use that where possible. Personal is always better than generic.
What life or lifestyle are you conveying to the girl
If you can, convey a life that she wants to be a part of, she is more likely to text you back. And the reverse is also true. A picture of you sitting in an elegant restaurant with people around you rather than a picture of you in Mcdonald’s. What you are inviting her into is more palpable. Funny, positive, conveys you are happy about life, that your life is a joy to you, is better than you complaining.
Don’t think just: how can I get a response to this text.
Think: How can I get her all the way out.
What is the persona I am trying to convey. What am I trying to create and show to this girl. Remember what she is thinking, which is, am I comfortable meeting with this guy and would having this person in my life be an enhancement to my life.
So convey positive, appreciative, ambition, and that good things are going on in your life. And she will want to be a part of your life. So be very conscianscious of the vibe and image you are conveying from the very start.
Establish positive communication
Finally, when considering how to text a girl you just met, establish positive communication. The goal for the first text is to establish positive communication. That’s it. Its’s not to get her out. Otherwise there is a high risk you will lose the interaction You won’t lose them by slowing it down, being more conversational, being positive, but you will lose them if you go too fast. Get her out on a date in 4 texts not in one text. Don’t spend all your social capital.
Don’t make mistakes
It’s very important not to make mistakes when texting a girl. Otherwise this can ruin your chances completely or put a few steps back. Check out the article on the mistakes guys make when texting a girl.