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In this blog post, we are going to talk about rules to follow when asking a girl out by text. Firstly, make sure you have read the article on how to tell if a girl likes you over text.

How to Ask A Girl Out By Text

How to Ask A Girl Out By Text

When you hear the word no, it really destroys your social capital. So you want to avoid this. When she says no, she has to justify all the reasons why she said no. So follow the steps below on how to ask a girl out by text, only once you get positive signs from the girl that she would be willing to go on a date.

Be direct

  • You want to be direct and use strong language that suggests the date is already on.
  • Make the date relevant to something you have discussed or a challenge to her


  • Paint a picture of the date that gives her a clear idea of what she’s signing up to and what the date will involve, but don’t pin her down to an exact time yet. Don’t send:

“what are you up to this weekend?” it’s too vague …giver her a clear idea of what the date will involve.

  • Never sound apologetic, needy, unconfident or uncertain if date will happen. Words like “maybe” cause you to lose value, and fail to exhibit the sexually aggressive masculine, leader qualities that girls find sexy.

Hey, if you’re free this week, I’d really like to see you. Maybe coffee if that sounds good to you?

  • Be certain- use imperative commanding, powerful language to imply it’s on. Don’t be afraid to state what you want. Use:

“I want” or “Let’s” or “We should”

“Let’s link up this weekend. Picnic if weather is good.”

“We should do ICE SKATING one day. Good for your posture, don’t you know?”

“Texting is ok, but how about we upgrade each other to face time? coffee Wednesday?

  • Do not arrange a date around her, by asking her where she wants to go, what she wants to do, when she’s free. Whilst it’s fine to compromise a little bit, decide on date, location, day and time. You want to lead and make decisions. Asking for the date suggestions at this stage makes you seem weak and inexperienced. Be decisive and choose option that works for you. Be a man and take her somewhere you like.

“Latte Monday. Deal or no deal?”

“That just makes me think of asian food.. looks like we’ll have to get that this weekend to satisfy my craving”

“You know you’re actually kind of cool, what’s your schedule like this week? are you nearding it out or do you have some time to relax and enjoy life.?”

“It might be fun to grab a drink with you..”

  • Use exciting vocabulary – Avoid words like “nice”. Better to use “awesome”, “intriguing”, “amazing” etc

“I know an intriguing little wine bar we can check out”

Go for a low investment date first, something that is easy to commit to. A quick drink after work or a coffee. You can always grab dinner afterwards if the date is going really well. It is easier to up-sell it in person rather than beforehand.

How specific should you make the plans? You should not push for a very specific plan because it will come across as needy. Guys want to get specific for their own assurance, and because they think it will make the girl less flaky. Not the case.

Imagine making plans with a friend you have known for 10 years. You will probably be like “let’s get drinks after work”. Not pushy, not needy. So you are leaving it a little bit open until you get closer to the date.

You can solidify the plans the day before or on the day. If you arrange it in advance, like a few days before, you then have to send a needy text the day of the event to check if it is still on “are we still on for tonight?”, which is needy and try hard. If you are sending a text on the day, it’s not needy as it is a necessary part of making the plans. And if she sends you the text “are we still on” to solidify the plans, then you know you are golden because she is anticipating it and looking forward to it.