AVOID these “5 texting sins” That Turn Girls Off… (even if she initially liked you)
By Kirk Jacobs
Have you been texting girls and not receive a response back?
Are you sick of girls replying yo your texts with one word answers, like “lol” or “haha” or “k”..
Have you spent a few weeks texting a girl only to finally realise that you are in the dreaded friend zone and she was NEVER going to meet up with you?
Here are some reasons the girls you like are ignoring your texts, are too busy to meet up with you for a date, or continually giving the brush off.
But first.. The first and last thing you need to know about texting is:
Texting is for getting the girl out on a date. That is it. It is NOT for turning her on, becoming her best friend, establishing a deep connection. You can do things in person much better -interpersonal communication, they can see you, your voice tone, body language. So, anything that leads to that is good. It is a means to an end. And this is the first mistake guys make. They think the more they text back and forth with a girl, the more she likes them. They get a girls number, they text back and forth for weeks, and she never seems to want to meet up. You become her “text buddy”. This is something you need to avoid at all costs. (In fact, there is a specific text sequence you can use to get her interested to go out on a date)… It’s not about just texting back and forth aimlessly.
Make sure you have abundance. The best way to get any one particular girl out via text is to be texting a lot of girls at the same time. You need to build a sales funnel with the 3 billion women on the planet. Cold approach 3 girls a day at the mall or college campus or night club and exchange contact information with plans to reconnect for a fun reason. Schedule a dinner date for every day of the week. Take a woman out salsa dancing once per week. Look up the concept of a “sales funnel” and build a “social funnel” or “intimate funnel” for your love life.
Everything that you do in text game that comes across as needy or try hard, will be very unattractive to the girl. The opposite is also true. Having abundance, a busy life, having other girls in your life, having fun, will ensure this doesn’t happen.
If you are texting one girl, you may text too long a text, or too quickly. If you are texting many girls, you may forget about texting her in a way that is good. So have abundance. Not caring too much about any one text conversation. Plus you get practise and practise makes perfect. It is a learning experience.
Mistakes Guys Make When Texting
Mistake #1: Lack of Patience
They get the number, they figure the girl likes them, so they want to get straight to the point and get her out on a date with the first text. This would make sense if girls were the same as guys (wanting to get straight to the point).. But girls need attraction and some level of comfort and assurance.. to know you are not some weird, creepy stalker, and that nothing bad is going to happen. And they want to feel a connection. So for girls, they are like a dimmer switch, not ON and OFF like men are. So need to gradually raise attraction.
If you are trying to jump to the close too quickly, it will convey a lot of negative qualities. Try hard, needy, desperate, and that you are getting around building comfort. She will wonder why you are so pushy. Are you not enjoying the interaction with her? Do you not have anything else going on? So you can’t cut straight to the chase. It’s too much, too fast.
The primary idea is to get her out on a date. But ironically, a lot of times the fastest way to get her out on a date is to actually go slow (but not too slow). If you go too fast, and hear the word “NO”, that’s the thing that is going to slow you down the most. It’s much better to go 3 texts to ask her out and hear yes, yes, yes, than a No. So be patient enough to hear yeses rather than no’s.
Mistake #2: A Sense of Entitlement
Entitlement is how much you believe you deserve the girl.
Not enough entitlement: Come from perspective of lower value, embarrassed about it, overly polite and nervous, you dont take risks, you ‘hope’ she would go out with you, you don’t flirt of sexualise the conversation because you are afraid of offending her, and you don’t take risks. You hope she would go out with you and you feel you don’t deserve the girl so you don’t push things forward. Someone in this frame of mind will not get many girls. They will come off needy, and may have friendly conversation back and forth that go nowhere
Too much entitlement: You believe you are the best. That she should drop everything. That they have to respond to you. You become too pushy.
So you need a middle ground. “I’m amazing, we are great together. It’s assured we will hang out when we are both free.
Mistake #3: Sending Bad Needy Texts That Turn Her Off
If in doubt between doing too much and not doing enough, err on the side of not doing enough. How can you know if you are making a mistake? Here are some signs.
If you are feeling very emotional whilst writing the text, if you are rushed, pressured or feel you have to get it right. If you have looked and looked at it many times. There is a good chance you will make a mistake in any of those scenarios.
If you are not sure, just wait because once you hit send, you can’t take it back. Not sending it will not mess you up. Because it is plausible that you are busy, doing something else, having a good life (unless you are making plans off course). So ask yourself:
A – Would I send this to a girl I’m already dating? If no, then there a good chance you are being needy.
B – Would I send this to a non-sexual friend- someone I am not trying to sleep with? If you are too sexual, too forward, too pushy, you may mess it up. If you are too friendly, that ok- it may slow things down, but not mess it up.
C- How much am I trying to do in this text? Am I trying to do too much. Every text should have one purpose, one message. Otherwise you are making it harder for her to respond. [[Even if you do turn her off, don’t give up yet. My friend Rob says his text system can be used to text your way out of the friend zone, re-ignite things with a girl that has been silent with you, and even get the girl who has been sending you one-word texts to suddenly want to hook up with you. It’s worth checking out]]
Mistake #4: Sending “Nice Guy” Texts (No teasing/playing it safe)
The vibe in your texts needs to be fun, so that when she sees a test message from you, she is excited to read it, looking forward to read it, has a kind of nervous tension to read your text. For that to happen, you need to be teasing towards her. Most guys in text are way too nice, way too polite, way too complimentary. This really turns girls off. You don’t want to be sending boring text messages. Things like “hope you’re weekend is going well” “Hope you have a great time tonight”, and “Have fun” are examples of nice guy texts. These texts come across way too needy and you want to avoid them. So every now and again, you need to give the girl a hard time. You need to give her shit tests too sometimes. Challenge her, tease her, giver a hard time, and she will respond very positively to that. If your text is all logical and bland, you will not have that one text that can ruin it, but you will gradually and slowly have the momentum and fun of the texting go away. It will go from positive, to logical to her giving you the silent treatment. So avoid that. And remember, play to win, rather than not to lose. [Note: It is important that you tease but not insult. And need to be especially careful when you are not talking to her in person because can’t see your facial expressions and tone of voice etc. So be funny and playful but never insulting. You both like each other, but you can tease her the same way you would tease a girl you are already dating or your friend. Before sending the text, ask yourself, is there any way this can be misread or misinterpreted. If so, don’t send it. And the use of emoticon will be important here. So understand you need to tease, you cannot go through text game just being logical all the time.
Mistake #5: – Telling Her How You Feel Over Text
As guys, when we like a girl, we want to express our feelings to her as soon as we can. We reason that, if she only knew how much we liked her, she would feel the same. This is wrong thinking. The moment you express your feelings to her, you have revealed all your cards. The challenge is over for her, and she has nothing to work for. This will quickly become boring for her. You need to give her something to work for.
Mistake #6: Over-Investing
Don’t Over Invest when writing texts. If she writes 2 lines, you write 2-3 lines. This giver her clues about how invested you are in the interaction i.e. how much you care about the outcome and how much effort you are putting into something. If your texts are a lot longer than hers, that is going tell her that you are over investing in the relationship and this will put her off. Don’t break this rule.
Mistake #7: Responding Too Quickly
If it takes her a day to respond to you, don’t text back within 1 minute. You don’t want her thinking you are sitting by your phone waiting for her to text. And vice versa. If she is getting back to you straight away, you don’t want to let the number go cold. So calibrate. If its taking her a long time between texts to get back to you, don’t be so needy and quick. If she is getting back to you straight away, don’t play hard to get and wait days when you could have gotten her on a date tonight. Also, taking too long will make it seem stilted and fake and informal as apposed to friendly. Remember the point is to have an interaction and get her on a date. Also, don’t be too available. The mystery will be gone. It doesn’t give her a chance to miss you and to anticipate hearing from you. If you are an easy catch, and are always around, she will place less value on you.
OK so now you know the big mistakes to avoid, it’s time to formulate an effective game plan..
Watch this video to learn to turn your phone into a magnet …. by using a solid sequence of texts called “Key Lock Sequence”..